From when Lennon turned 6 months, I knew I wanted to try to carry another beautiful child. I have had this motherly feeling that I was going to have another child but I didn’t know when. It has taken me till lennon turned one to try to convince my husband for another and finally he didn’t deny me. We knew that it wasn’t going to be easy & it’s not ever going to be. We can’t make anything happen and we accept this. We know that timing is everything but it’s out of control. We planned our first pregnancy and it was difficult. We didn’t get pregnant right away. It was an emotional ride for me and now I’m repeating it all over again. We aren’t in a perfect financial state either but deep down we know that a piece is missing. We are so blessed to have lennon alone and if it’s meant to be, it will be. Gods timing is everything and I have faith that when he decides we are ready to grow our family we will be blessed once again with another baby.
Tonight was an emotional night for me. Just last week we started trying again. I knew I wasn’t going to get pregnant right away but I also had a little hope that I would be. It turned out that it’s not our time yet. I got my period. I don’t know why I cried. I know it’s my hormones but somehow I was hoping I could carry another child right away.
I am thankful that I am Lennon’s mommy and if it happens it happens if not, lennon is more than enough. He is my everything.
I know I haven’t been consistent on here. I hope it didn’t bother anyone. I’ve been going through a lot with life. I plan on posting once a week from now on.